makeshiftmind

…and do yard work today.  I have the day off, so instead of squandering it (my preferred mode of vacationing) I got out the mower, the trimmer, several yard tools, trash cans, and our ladder.  I had the front lawn mowed and trimmed by noon, and decided to tackle the clogged gutters and our miserable landscaping next.

I pulled the ladder around back where the lowest point of our roof is, and realized that to get maximum height from the ladder I’d need to open the gate to our back yard, which I did.  I positioned the ladder and climbed to the top rung (you know, the one that has that warning label on it informing you that it’s not really a rung), only to realize that the ladder was really too short for a roof expedition.  Nah, I thought, I’ll just hoist myself up.  I threw my work gloves onto the roof, took a small jump, and with no shortage of huffing managed to drag myself onto the shingles.  I was wearing shorts (bad idea) and scuffed my knee, which started bleeding, but it was manageable.  Then I looked down and realized…

I wouldn’t be able to lower myself back onto the ladder.  If I tried to slip over the edge feet-first, my weight would quickly pull me over and if I didn’t hit the top of the ladder just right, it would topple and I would hit the concrete.  Unacceptable.  My only alternative was to move over to the side of the roof where there was grass and slowly lower myself over the edge until I slipped off, hoping the soft earth would cushion the fall.

And that’s not what happened.  Instead, when I landed my right ankle took a nasty, painful twist.  I managed to semi-drag myself into the house, threw ice on it right away and elevated it to prevent swelling.  Even though there was a fair degree of pain, it wasn’t too unbearable, and I could lightly put weight on it so I was fairly certain it wasn’t broken.  There was minimal swelling and no discoloration, and while it remains uncomfortable and I hobble like a broken wind-up toy, I think it will heal quickly.

A few hours later I got a call from my friend Steve.  I told him what happened and he said, “Dude, what were you doing on the roof to begin with?  Geeks aren’t allowed up there.  For their own safety.”

I promptly agreed, and will play video games religiously until my health is restored.